Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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