i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
there is glitter all over my balls
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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