If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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