eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
