So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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