I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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