In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
