playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
