"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Please don't give away my fajitas
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
