I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
