Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
