i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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