Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
