So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
