dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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