Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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