All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
