I cockslap morals
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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