You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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