I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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