ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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