really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
My liver just had a heart attack.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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