I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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