If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
