Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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