cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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