I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
i out mim tonsoeep
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
