i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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