He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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