When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize