Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize