jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
