tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
