So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
