i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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