i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Small penises have feelings too.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
