Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just sucked dick on a ferry
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
