I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I looked at my own cervix.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
