its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
