we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
