1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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