Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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