Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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