I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I enjoy the company of your penis
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
