Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
