You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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