1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
