Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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