I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Two words: nipple clamps
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