Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
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