ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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