Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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