tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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