i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
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Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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