in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
